Nowadays, one of two marriages ends up in a divorce, and many times there are children involved. Divorcing parents often worry about the effect that the divorce will have on their children. During these hard times, parents tend to worry about their own issues, but they still remain the most important persons in their child(ren) life.
While parents might feel either bereaved or happy about the divorce, children invariably feel scared and confused because of the threat that such event means to its personal safety. Some parents may even feel so hurt and overwhelmed by the divorce that they end up seeking help and comfort in their children. A divorce can be misinterpreted by their sons or daughters if they don’t make clear to them what’s exactly going on and how it will affect them.
Very frequently, children tend to think that they are the conflict’s cause between their parents. Many kids assume the responsibility of helping their parents reconcile and sometimes they end up sacrificing themselves in the process. In the traumatic loss of one or both of their parents because of the divorce, children may become vulnerable to diseases both physical and mental. Nevertheless, with care and attention a family can make use of its strength during a divorce, helping children enormously in the process and in the assimilation of all the new events that are taking place in their lives.
Many times a divorce means the construction of new families to any or both of the divorced parents. If it got to that stage, it is important letting the affected children know that such a scenario wouldn’t mean that they are less important to their parents at all and on the contrary, encourage them and help them to get integrated to the new people that are going to appear on their parents’ lives, and eventually, if new children product of new marriages come to the world, make them see that they will still remain as loved by his parents as their younger, just born siblings.
It is also important explaining to them that the new partner in mom’s or dad’s lives isn’t a “substitute” or replacement of their other respective parent. With this in mind, working on helping the child to develop a good relationship with the new partner is always a great idea.
As a conclusion, it is very important to stay closely in touch with the children’s needs and emotions in the whole process of divorce. Although the situation tends to make the parents isolate their thoughts in specific issues related to the separation, it should never be forgotten that children are also involved and are very susceptible to emotional damage and trauma. Preventing such potential damage on them should always be a priority.
